’Twas another night in Strangeways
And all through the big house
The only creature stirring was a scrawny little mouse
Dumb enough to think that we had scraps to spare
Mate we even fight over dreams of cheese when the cupboards are this bare.

And as I lay in my bunk
The keys jangled in the lock
Like a dog that hears the postman
I was all excitement and shock
“Now you two play nice” the jailer laughed as he left
And this big guy mooched in singing under his breath:

Mankind is gonna save you
He's got two eyes on you
He sees in your heart
So make sure your heart is true.

As you know I’m a real nice guy and I’ve been brought up to share
So I showed my new cell-mate round the gaff
Even offered him a chair
I said “Nice singing, I like it, you know I’m in a band?”
But the way he looked at me I knew he'd never understand.

He reached into his bag
Pulled out a poster all rolled up
Then pinned the dog-eared corners to the wall just where I stood
On unfolding he unveiled what can only be described
As a life sized portrait of the wrestler Mankind.

Mankind is gonna save you
He's got two eyes on you
He sees in your heart
So make sure your heart is true.

Now I’ve been in here too long to know its a bad idea to laugh
But seeing this hairy wrestler sweating in his leather-face mask
Drew the squeak of a giggle from somewhere deep inside
And as it made for this nut's ears he quickly cut me down to size.

“Don't you laugh at this icon for you will feel his wrath
The true path to salvation is upon Mankind's path
Accept him as your spirit guide and learn about his ways”

And I’m not kidding he just went on like that for days!

Mankind is gonna save you
He's got two eyes on you
He sees in your heart
So make sure your heart is true.

A plan I hatched at midnight to rid me of these two pests
A poster of a wrestler and the man that its possessed
I snook across the prison yard
Stole scissors from a sleeping guard
And crept back in
But I didn't kill him

And while he soundly slept and snored I snipped a sliver of the poster
A millimetre off each side so subtle he wouldn't notice
And tucked up back in bed I ate the pieces I'd cut off
The evidence eaten, a job well done, I slept like a sneaky log.

I did this every night for months
The poster slowly shrinking
But so gradual was its demise Its disciple just kept thinking
That all was as it should be, mankind was by his side
But more and more I saw growing confusion in his eyes.

Mankind is gonna save you
He's got two eyes on you
He sees in your heart
So make sure your heart is true.

Four months into my plan and Mankind's a quarter smaller
By Christmas I’ll have eaten it all, get things back how they ought a
But Christmas had come early when I heard my cell-mate scream
“He's coming out the wall for me, tell me its a dream!”

And as he held his head and rocked the white coats they dragged him off
A look of sheer horror was the only goodbye I got
See an optical illusion played tricks upon his brain
He didn't see the poster shrink but Mankind grow in the frame.

Like he was looming out the poster
like he was peering out the wall
reaching out to grab him and chase him down the hall!

Mankind is gonna save you
He's got two eyes on you
He sees in your heart
So make sure your heart is true.